Another sleepless night
My vision rendered black on white
My mind stained with your face
But not so that i can capture a clear image.
You're blurry around the edges
and you flicker in and out
like you're a character in an old colorless film.
I want something familiar,
something that will make everything
seem okay for just one night.
Burying my face in your covers,
your smell still lingers here.
In this bed,
and in my head,
it still lingers.
I can almost feel your skin on mine.
You're whispering telling me you're here.
And for a split second i believe it.
It's just like the old days when you were alive.
Then i jolt back to reality.
Your touch brutally disappears.
And I'm alone.
Alone in this bed that smells all too familiar.
All i can do is cry.
And as the tears fall, the memories mix.
They mingle on my cheeks
and crash into your pillow
and it all gets to be a little too much.
You're not here
and being in your bed isn't helping
like i stupidly thought it would.
I guess i didn't perceive
that familiar
is harder to take than
the irrevocable difference
that you not being here brings.
And if i thought it might help,
I may just admit, here by myself,
that life without [you]
is fcuken hard.
