A Delicate Touch of Hope.

Temps.
I have just read the word 'feathery'..it kind of jumped off the screen at me. This is a wonderfully descriptive term; it has great imagery and is rich in symbolism. Anyway without further ado, I will comment as I read *gets comfy in his chair*

Title:
Hope is something we can all relate to. It features daily, from I hope I don't over sleep, to will I get that pay rise, to an extreme, like - I hope I'm not going to die!' So, adding to this rich word another word such as 'delicate' well, this adds dimension to this title. To me it suggests a certain amount of apprehension, like if we hope too much it will result in failure. A very good title I can't wait to read your poem, I 'hope' it is great?

Stanza 1:
'light' and 'feathery' and 'clouds' in one line we have the clearest of images. It gives the reader (or at least this one) a sense of weightlessness, being carefree, happy, etc..

Then you add the word 'sail, gracefully, refreshing and summer' this addition lends itself perfectly to an already clear image. All these words are 'feel good' words that conjure up happy times from our yesterdays.

This line successfully creates an elapsed amount of time. The word 'merges and afternoon' Here I see this afternoon, hot, though not too hot, otherwise it would not be as beautiful..I must read on..

Your description so far is so intense and I love it. This afternoon is drawing into early evening with the sky's colour turning into colours that suggest a sunset.

Now here's a twist - dry heat, this is the first negative term in the poem so far, but using it in with the title heading means that it immediately fills the reader with hope too.

I love this line and I will tell you why? Well, the fact that you have used it last and the fact that it tells the reader that this is not a poem of nature, no! It is a poem that uses nature and its elements as a metaphor for a person's mental well being. This gives this poem more depth and so makes me want to read the next stanza. So I will..

Stanza 2:
'Ineffable' great word meaning - too great to be described' wow, I mean it, great word and one I must remember. Ineffable taste of sweet air melting on a tongue, you make this sound like a dusting of icing sugar from the clouds sprinkling from the sky onto an outstretched tongue.

The release of sadness brought on by time and the beauty nature. That is what I think of with this next sentence. It also tells of great emotional trauma. This section really gets to the heart of this poem and so for me is satisfying in a sense that it weighs the balances the beauty with the knowledge that it is on the back of such 'sorrow'. Well done!

Your descriptions of tears as a release of the remaining 'sorrow' are so vivid. It is like when faced with such beauty, the release is almost overwhelming and almost euphoric.

With the release of tears the sadness subsides. I like this ending, however, I think that you could have turned this poem around by using your tears in conjunction with the needed rain for the 'dry heat' earlier. Now I know that the descriptions of the day in the 1st stanza were metaphorical, but the rain could be a refreshing summers rain a metaphor for tears that wept away the dryness of sadness. Just an idea?

Temps, this is one of the most beautifully descriptive poems that I have read in a long while, but the real beauty is that it has depth with its symbolism to human emotions.

Well done

Michael

"Light feathery clouds like balls of cotton candy,
sail gracefully in the refreshing breeze of summer."

-Beautiful similie and this has me picturing the clouds already. This beginning has captured my attention

"Merging beautifully into the glowing afternoon sky."

-I specifically pointed this put, because its a very nice transition, and it keeps me on the image of the sky

"Blues and pinks weave to fill in the blank spaces
with a delicate touch of hope for this dry heart,
that has bled every lasting drop of desire to love."

-Very effective. Last line is beyond original. Its simply amzing word choice, and it has a powerful effect.

"The ineffable taste of sweet air melts on my tongue,
as every last speck of sorrow that nearly consumed me,
slowly escapes;"

-Amazing. Stunning. Specifically shows what the clouds, and their beauty are doing to you.

"remaining emotions fill these dreary eyes,
forming puddles on the bottom of my eyelids so heavily,
until a current of water flows down stained cheeks,
sadness subsides, as optimism is engraved deep. "

-I'm at a loss for words. You took something as simple as cloud watching and turned it into something that can heal you.

This was one of the most amazing poems, i've ever read. You have a talent for writing. It was short but very powerful.
5/5

"Light feathery clouds like balls of cotton candy,
sail gracefully in the refreshing breeze of summer."

= Beautiful start here. Your word choice is wonderful, and I already have an image in my mind. :)

"Merging beautifully into the glowing afternoon sky.
Blues and pinks weave to fill in the blank spaces
with a delicate touch of hope for this dry heart,
that has bled every lasting drop of desire to love."

= The first line here.. isn't a complete thought. What, exactly is merging beautifully? The rest of the lines are absolutely perfect. You've put an even more gorgeous image in my mind. Great job.

"The ineffable taste of sweet air melts on my tongue,"

= Whoa! Love love love this line. "ineffable" - what an awesome word.

"as every last speck of sorrow that nearly consumed me,
slowly escapes; remaining emotions fill these dreary eyes,"

= Ah, these lines are absolutely stunning! Not too complex, but not at all simple, either.

"forming puddles on the bottom of my eyelids so heavily,
until a current of water flows down stained cheeks,
sadness subsides, as optimism is engraved deep."

= I could be wrong, but I think "heavy" would sound better than "heavily" because you're saying the puddles are heavy, they're not 'heavily'. Other than that, all I can say is.. wow. I don't mean to repeat myself, but again - beautiful word choice.

[I'm SOOO happy I read another one of your poems. They always make me all smiley, even if the poem is sad, because you're an amazing writer. :)]

``Briana

Wow this was amazing.. there was so much emotion and was written extremely well. It captured me from the beginning and the imagery was unbelievable. I really liked the last line "sadness subsides, as optimism is engraved deep". It ends it well, also adding to the emotion.

You are a very talented writer =D
Was a pleasure to read.
5/5 for suree
xx

Brillent. piece of writing. lovely written specially the flow was excellent... and strong emotins.. keep it up