Some Secrets Should Never Be Told

"Some secrets should never be told,
There's one lesson already learned,
In long months that they had so yearned,
Before surrendering to lust."

^^I really like this opening stanza, I found it to hold alot of meaning and depth, which instantly pulled me right into the piece and had me wanting to read more.

"Now they hold a top-secret trust,
Some secrets should never be told,
Desires should be quiet -- controlled,
Or else you'll bed with mystery. "

^^I liked the repetition here, I thought it worked very well, and the fact that you keep mentioning these secrets which shouldn't be told, of course it has me wondering what those secrets are which creates a sense of mystery to the poem and has me wanting to read more.

"Confronted with a history,
That overlaps to present day,
While faithfulness disguised betray,
Their passion still wreaks of deceit."

^^I really enjoyed this stanza, so much power, depth and emotion are portrayed within these lines and now I'm wondering who's passion and why there's deciet involved.

"Beneath the canopy of sheets,
He softly whispers in her ear,
While carefully drawing her near,
"Some secrets should never be told." "

^^What a beautiful ending! The intensity here is incredible, and this is such a hardhitting and powerful ending that it certainly stays with the reader.

I really enjoyed this.

This is an excellent write, I loved the flow and your choice of words. It is nice to see people try different styles/forms of poetry and do very well at writing a formed poem. You did an amazing job here with great imagery that is portayed through this piece.

I, however; have one critical comment to make, this is a Quatern which takes the fist line in the first stanza and it is the second line in the second stanza, third line in the third stanza, etc. However, I do not see your fist line, "Some secrets should never be told" in the third line of the third stanza.

Overall a great write which is full of imagery, has excellent flow and structure. Great work, keep it up!!!

Peace, Joe