Surrender (Trinet)

by Lonely Rider   Jan 27, 2009


Surrender(Trinet)

-------------Rising horizon
-------------Mellowed milieu
Sedate breeze,whispering tales,bygone days
Morning rays drape , iciness inside , still
-------------Lonliness pursue
-------------Silently trickles
-------------Solitary tear

-------------Distant clouds
-------------Convoluted tricks
Crafting cottony crystal eyes , azure smile
Then floats away , farther,towards infinity
-------------Leaving behind
-------------Shadowed dreams
-------------Deafening silence

-------------Glimmering moonlight
-------------Sparkling stardust
Remind moments , lost in time , forever
Like shimmering dewdrop,confined in heart
-------------Till eternity
-------------Torturing pain
-------------I surrender

**The Trinet, created by zion, is a form with these specifications:

Line 1 - 2 words
Line 2 - 2 words
Line 3 - 6 words
Line 4 - 6 words
Line 5 - 2 words
Line 6 - 2 words
Line 7 - 2 words

Repeat this pattern 2 more times, if centered correctly it looks like three crosses

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Wow...this looked like a hard poem to write. I am awful at form poems so this really amazes me. I love the diction you used here and how soild this poem was. I love the emotions and how strong and constant they were throughout the piece. This should have been a winner. It really shows how talented and diverse you are. I loved it. Another great poem. Nik

  • 15 years ago

    by Jackie

    An excellent poem, never seen one written this way. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by MS Multani

    Wow,,, jst lft gobsmacked,,, i mst admit i can relate to dis poem very well,,, amazin,,, jst amazin

  • 15 years ago

    by anand singh

    You did an amazing job with this style of writing.Your choice of words and the power behind it is awesome.Indeed, a superbly penned piece and a joy to read.
    Great job.Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem.
    Paul...

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    I can see how that looks like crosses! It's a bit hard, but probably because of the website (though it still shows?). You did a swell job following rules and a swell job of writing the poem. I found nothing wrong with it. Though, at times I thought the '2 words' had a hard time connecting from line to line. But, they still made sense and it followed the rules. You did a good job with it.

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