Is It Coming Back?

I talked to you tonight
about cutting and how
it's not right,
it's an addicting habit
but as I sit here
with nothing but the music playing
and my thoughts flooding my mind
I can't help but wonder
what would happen if I did it
just one more time
would I fall back into its addictiveness
or would I be able to
pull myself out of it
before getting sucked into it again?
should I test the outcome,
test peoples trust?
or should I not even be mentioning
that I'm thinking about it again?
something's wrong
I don't know what
but something is very wrong.
it's got nothing to do with graduation...I think
whatever is wrong...
I want it to end
now...
is it coming back?
I think it is and I'm scared...
somebody help me!
it's coming back
and all I want
is to hold a safety pin
to my skin
and slice deep within
because something is wrong...
please don't get mad at me,
for getting upset
and thinking this way
I can't help it.
I'm stuck,
get me out.