New Years For The Depressed

The countdown is on
An hour and a half to go
But I don't feel the excitement
That other people show

This night marks a beginning
The start of a new year
But I don't want to face it
I don't have the strength, I fear

It's the perfect night for a suicide
Such a statement to leave behind
"I don't want to see another year,
This world is too unkind"

But killing yourself takes energy
And all of mine is gone
I'm not sure where it went
Since I am so withdrawn

I hide up in my bedroom
Usually in my bed
The blinds blocking out the sunlight
I might as well be dead

Sometimes I have to go downstairs
And pretend that I'm alright
Days that I should be "happy"
When we celebrate the night

But I can't stand the happiness
The cheery laughter and smiles
They cut me like a knife
As I quietly face my own trials

I hate that I can't be myself
I hate every second that I pretend
I only want to get it over with
I want it all to end

So I'll count down with the clock
And smile as I embrace
"Welcome to a brand new year
I don't have the strength to face"