Beautiful poem. So expressive of real emotion. Excellently written.

Im looking for an original sin
^^^VERY good intro. Unique, "an original sin" caught my eye (:

Something that only I could do for you

I lost before the game was to begin

And now I am here with nothing to do

^^^Sad, but expressive. Very well written.

All hopes of days underneath the sunrise

^^^ This is another line I enjoyed, somehow the way you wrote it entranced me (: Excellent.

But the cruel winter chill did steal my breath

Just as the smoldering heat of your eyes

^^^Here the imagery is fantastic.

But now this heart beats of nothing but death

As I await the never coming kiss

And feel the tears that cruelly stain my cheeks

^I don't think the "that" is necessary, and it would support the flow without it.

There is nothing about you I won't miss

And now I climb to stand atop these peaks

All fears now alive and entombing me

As I fall from these tips into the sea

^^^Again, excellent imagery and perfect ending. This was probably one of the best I've read from you, incrediable job, really.

Wow this is an amazing love poem. I can't find a thing wrong with it
I really enjoyed reading it

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

This was very well written piece hun. I love the way you wrote this using loose but long syntax. I felt the diction was simple but beautiful at the same time. I love the imagery and the sweetness in the tone. Very lovely poem. Glad I read this one. Nik :)

Wow. that was so goos. it was beautiful imagery and a nice poem to read alound. that was great. :)

This was a very well written and emotion filled poem. It flowed extremely well and it kept me captivated throughout the entire read. Very well done. 5/5