Clarity

"I listened closely to the sound of the water
Pattering against the rocks, against the bank
So calm, so peaceful, so alive."
`Great description, I can clearly hear this sound myslef.. youve described it beautifully. I agree with you also that it is a calm, peaceful sound. Well done!

"I catch my hand in its meager wrinkles
Feeling it dance between my fingers
Stroking them together in circular motions
As its iciness runs through my frame."
`Your word choice is awesome, youve definatly portrayed the sense of touch here.

"I began to wonder numerous thoughts
As to where the rainwater had been afore
I wondered where it has yet to travel
And where it will compose a new shape."
`This is really interesting, interesting thoughts.. afore caught me off gaurd, I rarely ever hear that..

"Lifes precious gifts are to often gone unnoticed
By day to day anguish, strife, and engagements
To step back for an instant and observe
Would bring such clarity and hope back into life."
`Wow what a powerful ending, great words you have wrote here, they speak a lot!

5/5.
Temps!

"As I wandered downstream in my raft
I listened closely to the sound of the water
Pattering against the rocks, against the bank
So calm, so peaceful, so alive."

^^I really enjoyed the imagery that you created within these lines, beautifully written and it painted some very vivid pictures in my mind, hooking me into the piece.

"I catch my hand in its meager wrinkles
Feeling it dance between my fingers
Stroking them together in circular motions
As its iciness runs through my frame."

^^I'm finding this piece to become stronger and stronger throughout, with each line better than the one before, and I'm really enjoying the imagery as I go along, while the flow is faultless.

"I began to wonder numerous thoughts
As to where the rainwater had been afore
I wondered where it has yet to travel
And where it will compose a new shape."

^^Favourite stanza so far, I found this to be very thought provoking, and both original and unqiue in concept.

"Lifes precious gifts are to often gone unnoticed
By day to day anguish, strife, and engagements
To step back for an instant and observe
Would bring such clarity and hope back into life. "

^^What a truly beautiful way to end this piece, again I found this stanza to be thought provoking and moving, and it's certainly something that makes the reader think, and will stay with them for a while.

I really enjoyed this.

A beautiful poem =] It has a lovely meaning and the flow was carried through very well ^^
5/5

(: No problem!
Life's, too. That's it! And again, it's a beautiful poem (:

I do feel this poem is deeper than the spring thjat inspired it. It also has a great natural flow

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>