You Found Me

I love all of your poetry.
the ones i read anyways.
:))
this poem in by far my favorite though.
I dont know why, it just is.
dont stop writing, you have some real potential.

And it would be greatly appriciated if you could comment and rate one of my poems.
thanks love!

-jesss.
Btw:: Im putting you in my favorites ;)

This was really good. i liked it a lot. that must be some friend :) i have a best friend like that. we've been there for eachother for 13 years. good job and keep writing!!! comment on any of mine please???

This was incredible!!! you are definitely one of my favorite weriters in the whole world : ) 5/5 keep it up your doing great.

I really enjoyed the first line here. Most of my poems start out this way, so it really caught my attention. Reading from the first to the second line, the flow was a little off, but I love the way it kept on the subject.

I really love the second line as well. This was such a mature line for a younger writer. With just a few words, you managed to set up a huge background. This line reminded me of a shirt I had when I was a kid; the picture was a skull head. It reminded me of a normal head, but huge sunken in eyes.

In the 5 / 6 lines, i love the imagery, but I would suggest changing DIGGING into SINKING. DIGGING is a good word, but reminds me of someone actually performing work (like a little man with a shovel). I think that SINKING is a little better because you can sink without actually doing anything physically.

I didnt like the YOU PULLED UP MY HAND / YOU HELPED ME OUT lines. I thought they could be combined into the same line: You took my hand and pulled me out". Using YOU twice in a row kind of killed the flow for me.

A few lines dow, the HOLDING THROUGH THE PAIN did not make much sense to me. No one wants to HOLD onto pain, but rather push through it. Maybe try saying: "Guiding me through the lies; helping me through the pain".

Overall, I really liked the poem. I would add some blank lines between every other line to help seperate the stanzas. The first time I read it, I thought this would be a great choice for a Formed Poem, where the words are shaped inside the picture.

Great job!

Glasses help dull vision, lol. but honestly, this poem was good, 5/5