You left me, waved our love goodbye
Tried to speak, but could only cry
Many things, I needed to say
Too late now, that you've gone away

*I like how you write. Very inteasting wa to form your sentences. Very good way to start*

Walled my heart, but I never knew
That within, a demon now grew
Nurtured by, feelings unspoken
Through my wall, it has now broken

*Love the diction here. I can relate to what your feelng. Love the emotions. They seem so raw and heartfelt*

On my soul, it does wish to feed
And in this, my hour of need
I turn round, horrified to see
All my friends, they've deserted me

*This stanza was intense. I love the imagery*

I succumb, to his twisted will
Empowered, he moves for the kill
Takes my breath, and I fall down dead
Choked to death, by words left unsaid

*Wow...that a brillant poet you are. This was such a good poem. I really can't see anything wrong with it. Nice work. Nik*