Already Gone!!

I try to blot out all my thoughts as i rattle around in my house by myself.

i play loud music, the kind that sort of empties your head and i try to pretend like I'm not even here.

like i don't really exist, like I'm already gone.

but its not working so i give up. i dint remember ever feeling as lonely as i am right now.

and the lonelier i feel, the more certain i become. more and more, i feel convinced that i will go through with this.

because i do not want to keep on living like this.

if you could even call this living, no one should have to go through life like this.

its just not worth the energy. or the pain

!!!! I'M REALLY SICK OF THE PAIN !!!!