Falling Stars

Thank you, imagery was what i was aimming for :)

A very romantic piece of work. I loved the form you wrote this in. And it touched me, i could picture it all. Job well done.

-Ashlei

Awww this was so beautiful! gosh i loved it lots! great job hun

"The sky so blue swallowing us up in it's darkness
the ocean so deep reaching less every time the waves roll

The cool breeze dancing in my hair
Brushing against my skin like it is holding my chin"

^^I adore these opening lines, the imagery is incredibly detailed which pulls me into the poem, however I don't think you need as many fillers, it works just as well without, maybe:

TSky so blue swallowing us up in it's darkness
Ocean so deep reaching less every time the waves roll

Cool breeze dancing in my hair
Brushing against my skin like it is holding my chin

"You brush your light hand along my cheek like the wind
push it up lightly for me to look in your deep blue eyes

Your soft lips calmly touch mine
The surroundings become a blur"

^^Again I think it would flow better without so many fillers, maybe

Brushing your light hand along my cheek like the wind
push it up lightly for me to look in your deep blue eyes

Soft lips calmly touching mine
surroundings become a blur

That being said, I adore the emotion and depth within these lines.

"The stars are falling like light rain
All around us the dim lights fall

Never seeming to touch the earth's surface
The tiny faint specks of light consume us together"

^^Again, I don't think there's any need for the fillers, maybe

Stars are falling like light rain
All around us dim lights fall

Never seeming to touch earth's surface
Tiny faint specks of light consume us together

Love the last line, incredibly beautiful and filled with so much passion.
"We open our eyes again to find that nothing has changed
The summer's night is still and idle

The waves now even farther away
we lay back down together to look up at the stars once more"

^^What a truly beautiful closing to this piece, the imagery is beautiful, creates such vivid pictures in my mind and the passion and emotion is beautifully and elegantly written.