How Forever Feels

by Rachel RTVW   Feb 7, 2009


Lost within another's eyes
Sense of calmity
What paints a lanscape perfect
Will you forever see

Wrapped in the arms of safety
Feeling what words can't say
No matter how hard you wish
Will it forever stay

When nothing seems to matter
The world just moves on by
And when your love is taken
Will you forever cry

Is forever till the end of time
Something true love seals
I believe we'll never know
How forever really feels

*Written for a title contest

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Sorry I missed this one...very beautiful sentiments...

    "Is forever till the end of time
    Something true love seals
    I believe we'll never know
    How forever really feels "

    ^Something we will never know....or will we? Some have it I believe...

    Nicely written with great flow and rhyme....Love, Mom

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    When nothing seems to matter
    The world just moves on by
    And when your love is taken
    Will you forever cry

    ^^ I loved this stanza best.
    Indeed I believe a person can mourn for a lost love a whole life long. I witnessed it myself with my gandmother. She became a widow at age 40 and stayed alone for the rest of her life. My grandfather was her true love and she remained his bride:)

    Beautiful poem, Rachel.

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    I find it difficult to write to a title, it puts a box around my thoughts and it always ends up with a load of flaws that are too frustrating to fix.

    The absence of punctuation made for a quicker reading. The first stanza had a nice flow, and the rhyme wasn't noticably forced. I'm sure you meant to spell 'calamity' though.

    The third and fourth stanzas were notably stronger than the first and second. I didn't really get much out of them, but it was a nice read, and the repetition was put to good use. A good write all in all, I'd just revise the first two stanzas as they read quite one dimensionally.

  • 15 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    This is a very beautifully written piece and i wonder y it has been downvoted.
    I really loved it, great write.

    all the best and take care

  • 15 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I think the only thing people truly care about when it comes to forever, is being with the person we love forever. But no matter how amazing the relationship is or how in love you are...one day its all going to end and its hard to think about that day. Amazing job glad to see you posted something for once :p 5/5 GG23