Excellent sibilance here, really helps with the hissing sound that this poem possesses. The word choice (I can tell) has been chosen very carefullly. We have 'splattered', a word with disgusting connotations, contrasting with 'sings', a word with much opposite connotations, which makes for an intriguing line. 'Skewered' is a very powerful verb, it's reminded me of kebabs first but then I reminded myself of the dark, violent atmosphere and the image I got was less pleasant. 'Screams', is a good choice, again conspiring with the other words to make for a very successful and dark senryu.

Well done again from me!

I like the use of alliteration in this verse. It makes it all the more powerful. He did live for our sins and died for them. Our belief in God will make Satan scream in the fire. Good job. 5/5

Michael,

I had to look up almost every word of this poem in my dictionary and still I feel like I cannot truly understand what you are trying to say. It's just me, I have a problem with understanding sometimes.
I do not really believe in Satan. I am reading a book now by Gary Zukav, his latest, in which he calls evil 'the absence of love and trust" and I believe in his words...when a heart is emtpy it can be filled with vile emotions such as hate and doubt and jealousy. He also said that the circle of reincarnation ends when the person in question is entirly filled with love and compassion for his fellow men...nice thought, isn't it?

((hugs))

5/5 Ingrid