Breathe

by Wishmaster   Feb 9, 2009


As the air escapes my lungs
As the songs leaves their tongues
I begin to believe
I begin to breathe

This world evades all
It takes you in with a simple a call
Leaving you in a cage
Leaving you for the age

As the summer breaks out
There is little doubt
That there is no such thing as goodbye
We all live a lie

But this will end
On me, you can depend
No matter what my mind may concieve
I will continue to breathe

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Nee

    "As the songs leaves their tongues"

    You have a grammatical mistake here with "leaves"..you should change it to leave.

    "There is little doubt"

    shouldn't be an "a" before the word "little" ??
    I hope I'm not hallucinating.

    "That there is no such thing a goodbye"
    you meant "as" instead of "a goodbye",didn't you?.

    you somehow focused on the rhyme too much that some parts of the poem lost their internal meanings.
    over all..the idea of the piece was good.
    you just need to focus on the vocab and the rhyme more

    Write on :]

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