Old Fashioned Romantic

In contemplation of decimation
I wonder if I'd dread
if I had a gun
a loaded one
and I put it to my head

Would people snigger
if I pulled the trigger
and put end to life so keenly
without a thought of consequence
to those who'd long to see me

I hope pray no
for death is woe
to those who's ears it reaches
and of suicide
what can I write
for no one who's does it
teaches

I can but guess
though it's worth no less
that an argument takes place
between the love and strife
of the sad ones life
over whether they have Gods grace

I see devils dance and spur them on
while angels sing placations
to try and calm their tortures souls
of all it's deviations
from man made codes and moral laws
that have at heart
God as their cause
Who can tell?

I'm not so needy of the answer
that I'd pull the trigger and become a chancer