Pretend

Like you said when you see emotion come to life in the writing you know its an amazing poem i feel like thios now. except the new girkfriend part but you never know he could dump me right now. or vice versa.

amazing poem.
5/5

Pretend that you're happy
Convince them you're ok
Pretend you're independent
Like he didn't hurt you today

^^ Wow, I can completely relate to ths prt. Jees I go through that a lot, or I used to. Amazing way to start.

Pretend he's not worth it
He's missing out on someone great
Although he was your life
Happiness has to be your state

^^ Wow, again I really like this so far. I likethe last line, I'm not sure why but it just gets to me. Everyone seems to fake happiness way too often.

Find it in your heart
Or at least what's left of it
Make everyone believe
Don't hate life enough to quit

^^ I don't like the flo in this stanza but it's stilll a really good story. Quite sad.

Pretend everytime you see him
It doesn't rip you apart
To know he loves her now
She's his new work of art

^^ Wow, I really like that last line. "New work of art" is quite creative. It adds more emotion to the piece.

Pretend he never loved you
You don't need him to be ok
Pretend he wasn't the reason
Why your world was lost today

^^ Wow I love it. I feel that sasme way. Gees, it's making me cry WOW. That's quite sad. I'm going through the same thing. Gees, I love this. It kinda makes me think. Good job.

Soda E>

Quite nicely expressed but i dont kina agree...

but totaly emotions are totaly justified,, keep up the great work@@!

"Pretend that you're happy
Pretend you're ok
Pretend you're independent
Pretend he didn't hurt you today"

^^Love the opening stanza, really powerful and full of emotion, although I'm not sure about repeating pretend in every line, maybe find a synomn (sp?) for it.

"Pretend as if he's not worth it
Like he's missing out on someone great
Although he was your life
Happiness has to be your state"

^^I think this was my favourite stanza. Though still relatively sad, I found the last line to have a dash of hope in it, which was inspiring.

"Find it in your heart
Or at least what's left of it
Make everyone believe
Don't hate life enough to quit"

^^I found the flow to be of on the last line, maybe reword it?

"Pretend everytime you see him
It doesn't rip you apart
To know he loves her now
She's his new work of art"

^^Another favourite stanza, filled with so much melancholy and depth, and I love the sarcasm in the last line.

"Pretend he never loved you
Pretend you don't need him to be ok
Pretend he wasen't the reason
Why your world was lost today "

^^Beautiful closing, really tugs on the reader's heartstrings and makes them feel the pain.

I liked it.

"Pretend that you're happy
Pretend you're ok
Pretend you're independent
Pretend he didn't hurt you today"

There were too many filler words here, and repeating "pretend" really ruined it for me when I read it. Think of something more out of the box, and there wasn't enough emotions here, I think you could be more descriptive and use more imagery.

"Find it in your heart
Or at least what's left of it
Make everyone believe
Don't hate life enough to quit"

Good word-choice here, nice job

"Pretend everytime you see him
It doesn't rip you apart
To know he loves her now
She's his new work of art"

Love that last line, very meaningful.

"Pretend he never loved you
Pretend you don't need him to be ok
Pretend he wasen't the reason
Why your world was lost today"

Again, you repeat "pretend" so much it ruins it for me, and "wasen't" should be "wasn't". 4/5 from me, a good write to read. Take care and God Bless!