Love I May Lack

My ever-present inner fight
Going through dark, looking for light
Only trying to do what's right
Still wishing you were here tonight

Turbulence with my direction
Love's my sickening infection
Changing loves, wanting perfection
Sheep's eyes threat'ning insurrection

Can't find what I'm looking for
Opening windows, shutting doors
Falling head-first, 'cross the floor
Just wondering if it's HIM for sure

In my life they come and go
Which one's HIM, I want to know
Each one puts on quite a show
But in the end, the answer's no

My ongoing contemplation
Brings me only desecration
None so far are my salvation
My heart feels all the degradation

Each man takes a piece, it shatters
Leaving my whole heart in tatters
And despite ongoing chatters
Emotions dulled, nothing matters

Can I get them all back?
My character's begun to crack
'Cause deep inside my heart is black
So forever love I may lack