Lover's Lane

Neat and lovely poem you've written here!

'Finally feeling content, no need to fear
Anger, sobs, all the past hurt disappeared
Strolling carelessly along wrapped arm in arm
Knowing you've fallen for each other's charm'

I think, with the abundance of poems with form and rhyme like this, the four line stanzas, the monosylabbic rhyme, 'together' and 'forever' are rhymed a hell of a lot, but I can put this aside because your expression here was spot on, and it was an interesting read.

I like the rhymes 'spoken' and 'emotion', subtle rhymes like this really work and don't appear forced on the page. It was my favourite stanza, and I'm cynical about love poetry, but I admired your work here.

I loved:

'Ironic how you never used to believe in fate
Until you realized you'd found your soul mate'

Haha, only because I know somebody like that - total skeptical, cynical guy, who rang me up and told me he'd found his 'soulmate', and his 'true lover', and it's meant to be and all that. Ah, I liked that.

The last line was powerful too, leaving the reader with an empty, pessimistic feeling.

I enjoyed this.

Well done :)

Hey jenni, its been a long time.. I loved this poem, as you know, you're a very talented writer, and that hasnt changed since I was last on here, I thought that the imagery portrayed in this poem was beautiful.

"Love no longer a battle, finally won
So euphoric together, you've found the one
Thinking of him, smile appears on your face
Whole world melts away in his embrace"

Damn, that is beautiful, as is this poem, a truly wonderful write my dear, great work, keep it up...5/5

Kerry

Simply beautiful I don't know what else to say exept you expressed your passion wonderfully

You cheated! You rhymed 'won' with 'one'! Lol

Ok, so this was a pretty nice romantic poem. It was a bit confusing to read the narrative portion of this poem, because it feels like started out in the third person, and the last line, ended with the first person. Throughout the poem 'you' meant 'yourself', but the last line 'you' was the guy. I think it should be consistant throughout the poem.

I think that was pretty much all I could see wrong with this poem. Other than that, it was a well constructed poem. Your rhymes were good and the flow was nice.

Keep it up