A Unifying Cause

Intelligent word choices, good flow, nice naturalness to rhymes, vivid imagery, and especially, what a great topic! We need more writers like you focusing your skills in a meaningful direction of social reform, justice, and necessary rebellion against injustice. This country has a long way to go before I'll consider it respectable.
Seriously, keep writing and keep focusing on these important subjects. Congrats once more on winning the contest!

"Sinister signatures left upon the walls
Accompanied by graffiti on the stalls
Symbols of outrage scribbled in black ink
Voiceless martyrs always toeing the brink"

^^This opening is incredible..I adore this, the imagery you create within these lines is incredible and manage to paint such vivid pictures in my mind.

"Channels of crimson inundates the ground
Shrieks of perishing mortals the only sound
Battle persists with morbid eagerness
Sinful skirmishers continue to transgress"

^^I was thrown here because of the rhyming, I appreicate it must have been difficult to find a "perfect" rhyme for eagerness but it still threw me a little.

"Sunrise bloodied red with copious death
Young soldiers capable of one last breath
Two warriors still exchanging attacks
One is slain by his opponent's fierce axe"

^^Easily my favourite stanza. The emotion in this is overwhelming and you capture the hopelessness vividly.

"Silence descends upon the morbid sight
Bringing a sudden stop to the gruesome fight
Support for the movement quickly renews
Resentment for authority accrues

A conflict remains unresolved today
With society still in disarray
Resistance against unjust laws
Shall always be their unifying cause"

^^ Ahhh...what a frikken beautiful closing!! Really, this is amazing. This is so beautifully written, and the imagery, content, rhyme, they all melt together to create a beautiful read.

I love this.

Wow...truthfully, I've never read a poem like this one before, on this very specific topic. It was very good, I could see the intricate images of rebelling teenagers and soldiers in my mind, fighting for a cause that has gone tolerated for too long. I think many of us who feel that some laws are unjust feel this way inside the turmoil of our minds, and you put it down in writing quite poetically. I really liked it. Just wondering, but is it just a general cause they are fighting for or are your writing this after a specific event? Well, i love it, and thanks for your comments on my winter poem, that's a new style for me so I thought I'd try it and I'm glad you understood it well.

-Weeping Wolf

Your poem really left me speechless...
Your imagery is just amazing... I find also really great, how the adjectivation here seems to make the poem so much darker...

I loved the last stanza... I don't really know how to describe it... It's just so good... :)

*isabel*