Nice flow reflecting great imagery of a familiar longing

very well done

This so much reads like a mourning over something you have lost, a feeling or a person...very sad and much longing for things forever lost in between the lines.

Beautiful read, I am impressed.

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

"Lonely walls along the street,
boulevard of quivering trees
Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by decepting breeze "

^^I really enjoyed this opening stanza, I found the imagery and depth to be quite beautiful, pulling me into the piece, and I can't wait to continue on.

"Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear
Frosty glares, piercing sigh,
eyes cry incessant fear. "

^^I'm finding this piece to become better and better as I go along, I really liked this stanza and found it to hold almost as much power as the rest of the piece together.

"Scourged by the nightmare
whom should I forgive?
Can Somebody take me home
the Home that once lived? "

^^I found the flow to be -slightly- of in the last line. That being said, I adore this closing stanza, so moving and powerful, something that stays with the reader.

Apart from where I mentioned, I found the flow to be flawless throughout while the imagery and content melted together for an enjoyable read.

Raj
I loved this when I first read it....and what a beautiful entry for the contest :)

Lonely walls along the street,
boulevard of quivering trees
Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by decepting breeze

Thes lines bring a sadness to the heart. Great imagery and word choices.

Scourged by the nightmare
whom should I forgive?
Can Somebody take me home
the Home that once lived?

It seems when we are away from our home.It is where we long to be....but the home we leave as we grow...is always still the same it is us that change after we have left.
Excellent job!
Love Cindy

Another outstanding piece, loved this stanza the most:

Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear
Frosty glares, piercing sigh,
eyes cry incessant fear.

'dreams framed upon a tear'

i really dont know how to appreciate this line.
keep writing!!

all the best and take care

"Lonely walls along the street,
boulevard of quivering trees
Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by decepting breeze"

Excellent opening stanza, this is extremely captivating, as the flow is flawless and the rhyme grabs the reader fully into it.

"Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear
Frosty glares, piercing sigh,
eyes cry incessant fear."

Great imagery and descriptions, very in depth and meaningful.

"Scourged by the nightmare
whom should I forgive?
Can Somebody take me home
the Home that once lived?"

I love these questions, really makes the reader think, a very thoughtful write.

5/5 from me, very deep emotions and the whole way this was one of the most beautiful pieces I've read, keep up the great talent and work! Take care and God Bless!

This has some very strong lines, the title being one of them, the last line was paticularly striking.

'Lonely walls along the street,
boulevard of quivering trees
Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by decepting breeze '

This stanza had incredible flow and rhyme, the assonance works to a tee. and the adverbs were placed correctly to your advantage, and the language was high frequency, but it didn't confuse or baffle me, so well done there.

'Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear
Frosty glares, piercing sigh,
eyes cry incessant fear.'

One of your strongest traits as a poet, is your ability to create magnificent flow, yet still maintain the message and imagery. None of the rhyme here appeared forced and I loved the first line. 'Dissolved' is a fantastic word.

'Scourged by the nightmare
whom should I forgive?
Can Somebody take me home
the Home that once lived? '

I think you might benefit from putting a comma after the 'home' on the third line, as it jolts the flow a bit. But a magnificent ending. This poem was short, and sweet, and the ideas carried were executed fantastically, well done.

Beautiful poem, really well written
its flow and rhymes are amazing

"Lonely walls along the street,
boulevard of quivering trees
Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by decepting breeze"

I loved this stanza, every word was perfect, nothing forced and it took me places.

'Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear
Frosty glares, piercing sigh,
eyes cry incessant fear.'

This stanza spoke of dissulusion fading to regret. And it made me feel it. brilliant

'Scourged by the nightmare
whom should I forgive?
Can Somebody take me home
the Home that once lived? '

Just amazing the sense of longing that you conjure in this is just awesome

Beautiful

Outstanding write, so much expressed with so few words. flow and rhyme were great. definetly a 5/5

This was a fantastic piece of poetry. You penned it to absolute perfection. The wording was flawless. Such meaning behind your words, i love the ending. Really clever. I just love it.. i dont even know how to explain. But it was great. Really nice work.
5/5

Good word choice and flow in this piece. Seems like someone is homesick.....I enjoy reading your work as the rhyme is not forced but flows smoothly and makes perfect sense. great job Raj!

Very nicely done. If I can make a couple of grammar suggestions:

deceptive breeze
where I once lived

Distorted hope quietly sleeps,
caressed by deceptive breeze

Smiles dissolved into horizon,
dreams framed upon a tear

These four lines run deep & I the way how
your emotions are pinned with nature. This is
a touching piece where tears can be felt..take care.

Another excellent poem. See, I can understand this poem, some of your oters I couldn't at all really. The flow was good. I think it was off on a few lines, but it's okay. The emotion is good as well.

Soda E>