Riches and Witches

I really enjoyed this!!
It reminded me of Holloween!
Like Lexie said, "It was very deep", which is so true.

I loved the way how it all flowed together.

Peace(:
-Han

This piece is very clever, great job!

5/5

I enjoy my read. A very well written poem, 5/5, kel.

First off, let me say that I'm really drawn in by the subject matter of this piece. I've always been the type to read into the symbolism that surrounds me in my daily life and try to draw deeper meanings from it. So, kudos to you on the subject matter first and foremost.

Now, on to the critique.

Smooth complexion, and hair of red
Filled my heart, and soul with dread
Passion rose from a scull I dreamed
As the beautiful wicked witch schemed

^^A strong start. You set the bar with the rhythm and rhyme scheme which you stay true to throughout the poem. Excellent flow as well.

Thirteen arrows and thirteen olive leaves
Confounds a mind and what it believes
Some are seduced by beauty, others by bills
Others brew magic potions to get their thrills

^^This is where the piece really starts to shine. I think that if you hadn't explained at the end of the piece what its about, many wouldn't have picked up on that symbolism at the beginning, and for that reason, I feel it to be an excellent use of symbolism because it could potentially draw a reader in to question, "what does that mean?", which, in turn, could keep a reader hooked. So, props for that. You also keep the rhythm and flow going just as strong in the first stanza.

Witches to riches in God we trust
Which is the worst, greed, or lust?
As I accepted the potion the curse was cast
If you see her coming you'd better run fast.

^^ And an excellent finish. The rhythm and flow drive the hammer down to that final nail, and even give the finish an almost song/lyrical quality (which I admire btw).

The only problem I have is perhaps your use (or lack of, in some places) of commas. Then again, perhaps I use them too often lol.

For Example:

Witches to riches in God we trust
Which is the worst, greed, or lust?
As I accepted the potion the curse was cast
If you see her coming you'd better run fast

I'd try giving a rest between Witches to riches and in God, primarly because with it being the title, it holds a deep significance as to the meaning of the piece, and by bringing it out with a pause, you could help guide the reader towards finding the deeper meaning that we all look for when reading another's work.

Here's how I'd personally do this stanza. Of course, its your piece, and a good one at that, so its your choice as to how it written :)

Witches to Riches; in God We Trust
Which is the worst, greed, or lust?
As I accepted the potion, the curse was cast
If you see her coming you'd better run fast.

---

Once again, great piece. I favorited it because I can feel a sense of relation to the subject matter, being a big fan of symbolism and the like. Great job! 5/5

Excellent poem again!! It has such a great flow and though it is very short it says what needs to be said. Wow... I absolutely love your poems. Keep it up!!

Soda<3