Comments : Indescribable

  • 15 years ago

    by HvN

    Wow... i'm honestly breathless.. haha like the song...

    so beautifull and absolutely cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    69/5 lol >.>

  • 15 years ago

    by HillaryNicole

    Absolutely beautiful. Beautifully written. & beautiful words chosen. Describing so much yet saying you cant describe it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Describing my love for you,
    Is the hardest thing ever to do,
    Its like explaining colors to the blind,
    And music's wonders to the deaf."

    ^^I love this opening verse, particularly as within a few lines you manage to put in so much emotion and explain how hard it is to describe the love you feel, however I don't think you need the fillers (the, i you etc) it works just as well without, maybe :

    Describing my love for you,
    Is impossible thing ever to do,
    Like explaining colors to the blind,
    Music's wonders to the deaf.

    "There are hardly enough words,
    The Dictionary doesn't show two-thirds!
    Your smile makes me want to cry,
    You're just so beautiful, no way to lie."

    ^^I don't like the second line, it seemed like you were just trying to rhyme and it killed the meaning and made it cliche for me.

    "I hope now you can see,
    There's no where else I'd wish to be,
    Our love is so amazing,
    No word for it but.. Indescribable. "

    ^^I don't think you need the "I," on the first line.
    I thought the ending was adorable, and full of emotion and depth, but I was thrown because so far the poem rhymes and suddenly it didn't, reword maybe?