Kay I loved this poem!! So much!!! *laughs* I couldn't believe some of the stuff you put in this poem!! My favorite stanza will forever be the 80's one, cause I know the meaning behind it, which makes it so much more enjoyable. Great job!!!

I love how you place emotion and feelings with humor. It just gave this poem so much more.

The last thing, is that this poem sounds so much like you. Random and meaningful at the same time. I hope that made sense. well anyways! Good job!! keep it up!
or.. should I say.. "atta girl!"

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

^^I really liked this opening stanza, I found it be unique and it pulled me into the poem, and left me wanting to read more.

"I know the key is lingering near,
But your heart's just a blockade of fear;
I carry on like nothing's wrong,
Like I don't relate to the lyrics of our song."

^^I don't think you need the "I," in the first and third line, it works just as well without.

"Call my name out from the dark,
Kiss me in a vacant park;
This image of you is just too real,
Re-live every emotion you make me feel."

^^Favourite stanza so far, the emotion and depth within these lines is incredible.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

^^I liked the repetition here, alot of time I find authors to go totally overboard and kill the meaning but it works well here.

"I love your old 80's music bands,
And your silver glasses no one understands;
The way you laugh at my stupid jokes,
Better than that shit Dallas smokes."

^^I don't think you need the fillers (I, the, but, and etc) at the start of the first three lines, maybe :

"Love your old 80's music bands,
Your silver glasses no one understands;
Way you laugh at my stupid jokes,
Better than that shit Dallas smokes."

It seems to flow better that way for me.

"That time you gave yourself emo hair,
I want to make a memory we could share;
But I'm breathing here alone tonight,
Something so common I guess it's alright."

^^I found the flow to be slightly of in the last line here.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

^^Again I'm enjoying the repetition.

"I never found a way to tell you,
Cause a love confession's nothing new;
You saw right through my facade,
My desires were always a little too broad."

^^I didn't like the rhyme scheme on the last two lines, I found it throw me completely.

"Your words are slipping through my fingers,
I don't understand why this feeling lingers;
I know you'd never love someone like me,
But my heart just doesn't want to see."

^^I don't think you need the "i." here, maybe :
"Your words are slipping through my fingers,
Don't understand why this feeling lingers;
Know you'd never love someone like me,
But my heart just doesn't want to see."

Love the last two lines though.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
I don't know what to do or say,
The tapestry of life begins to fray. "

^^What a beautiful closing, incredibly powerful and strong.

Beautiful write.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

Entrancing opening stanza, good simile and use of rhyme.

"I know the key is lingering near,
But your heart's just a blockade of fear;
I carry on like nothing's wrong,
Like I don't relate to the lyrics of our song."

Excellent word choice, you completely captured my attention!

"Call my name out from the dark,
Kiss me in a vacant park;
This image of you is just too real,
Re-live every emotion you make me feel."

Very deep emotions pouring out here, making this poem come very much alive.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

Good repition, its has a good affect, not a bad one.

"I love your old 80's music bands,
And your silver glasses no one understands;
The way you laugh at my stupid jokes,
Better than that shit Dallas smokes."

Funny! I like how you worded that, very humerous.

"That time you gave yourself emo hair,
I want to make a memory we could share;
But I'm breathing here alone tonight,
Something so common I guess it's alright."

Again, nice work, I am really enjoying reading this piece!

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

Nice repetion as I said before.

"I never found a way to tell you,
Cause a love confession's nothing new;
You saw right through my facade,
My desires were always a little too broad."

Not exactly the best rhyme scheme, but it's fine.

"Your words are slipping through my fingers,
I don't understand why this feeling lingers;
I know you'd never love someone like me,
But my heart just doesn't want to see."

Heartfelt feelings, making me come into this poem and feel what you feel.

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
I don't know what to do or say,
The tapestry of life begins to fray."

Love the ending, leaving the reader satisfied with what you wrote! 5/5 from me, take care and keep up the wonderful work! God Bless!

Good poem, i enjoyed reading it
and even though i dont understand the reasons behind the humour in some of the stanza's
it was still a very interesting read
and obviousy gives the poem a very personal feel

the only thing i didnt like was the one rhyme of facade and broad

but apart from that a really good poem
with a great last stanza

Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock.

Nice Way Of Opening you poem here. it caught my attention the first two lines.

I know the key is lingering near,
But your heart's just a blockade of fear;
I carry on like nothing's wrong,
Like I don't relate to the lyrics of our song.

i wouldnt change a thing here. to me it makes it more personal when u say "I".

Call my name out from the dark,
Kiss me in a vacant park;
This image of you is just too real,
Re-live every emotion you make me feel.

awww... these are my favorite lines. something u thought was gone this person brought those feelings n emotions right back, like they were never gone at the first place.

Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock.

I like it. it always gets my attentions the first two lines.

I love your old 80's music bands,
And your silver glasses no one understands;
The way you laugh at my stupid jokes,
Better than that shit Dallas smokes.

this reminds me of my friend i would always laugh at his stupid jokes. wonderful it made me smile cuz of the memory. wnt change a thing.

That time you gave yourself emo hair,
I want to make a memory we could share;
But I'm breathing here alone tonight,
Something so common I guess it's alright.

awww.. truly sad. being alone is sumthing u shouldnt get use to.

Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock.

it sounds like a song now for me. it keeps the flow going n going. amazing

I never found a way to tell you,
Cause a love confession's nothing new;
You saw right through my facade,
My desires were always a little too broad.

i wonder how can ppl see tho our walls of not showing them how we feel about them. i just never understood how. nicely done..

Your words are slipping through my fingers,
I don't understand why this feeling lingers;
I know you'd never love someone like me,
But my heart just doesn't want to see.

my second favorite part of your piece here. u can never control what u feel inside for someone. never will control them actually.

Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
I don't know what to do or say,
The tapestry of life begins to fray

I Loved it. amazing job indeed. keep it up.
5/5

TaKe Care,
Frenchy

This one never misses a beat and reads like those gret lyrics that you hear in a song that could stand on there own but they are even better with music I feel the emotin and it climaxes with a strong finish at least I feel
my heart just doesn't want to see the tapestry of life fraying either.
great poetitic lyric
well done

I really enjoyed this poem! One of the main things I enjoyed was that you were able to blend humor and a darker element so well. The repetition was a great device to keep the flow going in your favor. This poem reminds me of many eighties movies where the main character is building his or herself toward the climax and they go for a drive to try and pull themselves together. You got a five out of five from me! Keep up the good work!

Firstly, I don't understand the recurring 1st stanza, but after a bit of thought I decided that it meant, "I wish I could have, but I guess it wasn't to be," or something like that.

Secondly, I like the little details you've put in, like the emo hair. Things like that in this kind of poetry is really charming, and poignant, to a certain degree. It just says that, well, you won't forget the little things, which matter to you just as much as the big things.

I don't exactly have a favorite stanza for this. Every one shared the same basic color, but each has a slightly different shade -- you bring something new, a new idea to the poem each time, and that's what makes it a rich piece of literature. Good work.

I thought this poem was really good.
some parts i found better than others, but that doesn't mean the poem is bad.

my favorite would have to be the repeated stanza of

"Broken mirrors and paper planes,
Driving down empty highway lanes;
Over like the tick of the clock,
Permanent like a stainless lock."

that stanza got my attention the most.

nicely done(:

Wow, excellent write with so much imagery and feeling within. Your choice of words was simple yet had a deep impact against the reader. The flow was flawless in my opinion as well as the structure. I enjoyed your rythm and rhyme in this poem. Overall a nice write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe