Tears and Smiles

"On my face, a smile that won't stop,
one that is meant to hide the pain."
`I liked this, it really is true and I can relate.. I think that smiling is definatly a way to hide pain, although deep down inside you can feel the pain.. but you just try your best to not let other see it.

"From my sad eyes, tears are falling, plop, plop,
one by one for each of the words you spoke."
`This is so sad... I must say..I liked how you put "plop, plop" in there.. it just adds to the sadness and imagery.

"Words no one wants to hear,
I do not love you anymore."
`Oh wow.. this is just heartbreaking to the reader, we can only imagine what the writer is going through as they write this poem.. the pain they feel.. those words definatly are very hard to hear and let sink in. :[

"They bring to my heart, fear,
a smile to my face, tears from my sad eyes."
`A tint of repetition, yet used effectively..one suggestion I would make it say.. "They bring fear to my heart"

"Your time will come, pain you will feel,
those words will be spoken to you.
That is when my smile will be real,
and my eyes will cry no more tears."
`This poem used a lot of the same words, but was still written well.. and this last stanza almost brings forth hope.. in a way. After a while this smile will be real, and the eyes will no longer cry these tears.

Well done Sylvia.
5/5.

First of all I liked the title :]
However there are so many things I want to criticize here.

On my face, a smile that won't stop,
one that is meant to hide the pain.
From my sad eyes, tears are falling, plop, plop,
one by one for each of the words you spoke.

Your first stanza didn't flow really well..the word "plop, plop" went more of a supporting word to rhyme with the rest of the stanza..I don't know but I just felt that you didn't know how to flow this.

"They bring to my heart, fear,"
This line too was made for the rhyme more than for the meaning..I think it would've been better if you've just said:
"To my heart they bring fear"

The thing is, this poem held nothing new than the other sad poems in this site..your rhyme was a little bit cliche and the wording could've been much more stronger than that.

One more thing..you overly used the punctuations in the poem..there to too many dots and unnecessary commas.

I hope you don't get this the wrong way.
I just hate to write the normal words of "oh good poem, keep it up" they don't seem right to me at all.

Write on :]

Sylvia, What a beautiful but sad poem youve written here . Though I dont think you wrote it with sincerety, you are much too wise for that . We know of the warehouse that we are, and of the things we can allow. To not just enter in but more importantly Remain within us. And for you vengence is one that is short term, if at all ....So let those necessaty tears flow to wash away the debris , so you may always remain the beauty that you are .....Jim

Very touching write... simply loved this one... emotions flowed so smoothly in each stanza...

"Words no one wants to hear,
I do not love you anymore."

^^ we dont love them but still we cry for the same person who has hurt us ...

lovely write...

I like the saddness as well as the moment of
revenge at the end. The flow & rhyme has a
nice tone..take care.