Nevermind The Pain

I've built walls around myself for so long that I forgot how to let people in. I've given my heart to people so many times, only for it to be stomped on. You once told me, "I'm fixing your heart." Then after that, it had all fallen apart. I couldn't take running around in circles anymore. I got distracted along the way. But for some reason, you're the only one who knows how to break that wall again.
You told me that I was a beautiful friend and that I had the best heart that you had ever seen. As you said this, I could feel the crack reopening. It was always about the little things you remembered. The things that would barely come to mind to any other person in the world. You had remembered that 'Banana Pancakes' was my favorite song. And that I loved looking at the purple tree on the way to your house. Or the fact that when I pass a car, I always say "sorry", even if it's parked.
That I was loving, caring, and always made you feel like one of the luckiest guys around. Now I could really feel the wall crumbling. You didn't want time to pass us by before it was too late. After all of this, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to push the wall I had built so long ago with my own bare hands. I wanted for it to disappear. I wanted to tell you everything I had bottled up for the past four years and that I had never stopped any of those feelings. - Just denying them.
As all of this came to mind, I suddenly paused and looked around the room. I could see one person who could stand in the way of all of my previous daydreams. She claimed that she felt the same way. That was a problem. I had to force myself to begin the reconstruction of my walls. My barriers. I had to overlook the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Drown out the pounding sound of my heartbeat. And finally, ignore the ripping and tearing feeling I had coming from my heart. "Nevermind the pain" I told myself repeatedly. "Nevermind the pain".