Looking Out

by AngelicDecadence   Feb 24, 2009


Looking out my window I see a girl,
She's sitting on a bench waiting,
A sad hope lingering on her face,
As she waits for the boy she's dating.

He's not going to come,
She has been stood up,
And she knows it too,
As her eyes fill like a cup.

But then there's a shocker,
A car comes and a boy gets out,
Smiles at her and holds her close,
Wow, guess not everyone should doubt.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by No Need For A Name

    This was not one of the best that I have read by you. The ending left a sour taste in my mouth, haah. Not that I'm opposed to happy endings, it just seems the way in which it was approached seemed stale and uninteresting. I think this one should have maybe been extended by one or two stanzas. Usually I enjoy shorter poems, but in this case it feels rushed and uncaptivating.
    "A car comes and a boy gets out"
    The flow is off on this line. Maybe try:
    "A car pulls up; a boy gets out"
    Just a suggestion

    Peace and prosperity,

    (RKD)

  • 15 years ago

    by HvN

    Definitley shouldn't doubt, not those asians! lol =)

    hehe

    5/5

    love it!

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