Afraid To Fear

I am afraid.
Afraid ofâ?¦

Living with a past
that haunts me every day.
Afraid of unspoken words
not knowing what to say.

Afraid of heights
when I look down into nothing.
Afraid of being blind
not being able to see something.

Afraid of a broken heart
never able to feel.
Afraid to trust whatâ??s on the inside
not knowing what is real.

Afraid of running away
no one to come after.
Afraid to open my mouth
to find there is no laughter.

Afraid to open my eyes
with no home to see.
Afraid to think of religion
not knowing what to believe.

Afraid to live each day
as if it were my last.
Afraid to take each moment slowly
thinking it will go to fast.

Afraid of when I walk out the door
with nothing to walk into.
Afraid of taking a risk
and figuring out what it might do.

Afraid of reaching my goals
with no other plans.
Afraid to use my wings to fly
not knowing if I will land.

Afraid to look into the future
scared of what I might see.
Afraid to think of all the things
that I could never be.

Afraid to beg for mercy
already knowing my fate.
Afraid to open my eyes
to everything I must face.

Afraid to let go of lies
along with all the tears.
Afraid to forget all the bad times
all the lonely years.

Afraid to speak my mind
not knowing how to start.
Afraid to release all my feelings
not truly knowing my heart.

Afraid of everything I touch
confused as to if it's there.
Afraid to let someone in so close
not knowing they really care.

Afraid to give someone the opportunity
to get inside my mind.
Afraid to solve mysteries
scared of what I might find.

Afraid of unwanted failure
that always comes to view.
Afraid of undiscovered past
and the unseemingly present too.

Afraid of everything I am
not knowing what I can do.
Afraid to forget everything
that once in a lifetime, I knew.

Afraid to say goodbye
when all I want is to hang on.
Afraid to lose the game
not knowing if I could have won.

I am afraid of alot of things.
This poem will tell you this.
But let me tell you a few of my hopes.
That may someday lay my fears at rest.

I hope for my reality
to be come part of my dream.
For a brighter tomorrow,
for a better scene.

I hope for my success
May it be full.
For my children to be happy,
and make good grades in school.

I hope for a good husband
that will treat me right.
Somebody to care for me
and never let us fight.

I hope for a good college
to guide me along the way.
And a pillow at night
for my little head to lay.

I hope for good health
that will last all my life.
So I can be there for my husband
and be a good wife.

I hope for a peaceful world
laying underneath the stars.
With money in my pocket
and a couple shiny cars.

I hope for my name to be known
all aroud the world.
To be an amazing author,
I want to be that girl.

I hope for silence at night
when I lay my head to sleep.
The next thing ready for me,
once I take that giant leap.

I hope to have a nice home,
clean and spotless every day.
Kids that will listen politely
and cling to every word I say.

I hope for far less tears
than I've cried in the past.
For small conversation
that in my mind will always last.

I hope for candlelight dinners
on random starry nights.
Holding hand in hand
my love, my partner for life.

I hope for crazy afternoons
that end with an I love you.
No bickering or complaining
just a simple, I love you, too.

I hope for insane moments
that I wouldn't trade.
A comfortable living
that me, myself has made.

Most of all, I hope my fears
cease to exist.
And for me to be the girl,
that remembers something as simple as this.

Fears can be real or imagined,
but hopes are sung within your soul.
And though at times, fear takes over.
Hopes are with you wherever you go.