Comments : I'll admit, I adored the colour of her eyes.

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    I absolutely love dark poems, they're my favourite kind. Narrative poems are always tricky. The title was excellent and drew me in.
    I admired the form you created. It's subtle, which makes it more dark, instead of spoonfeeding the reader. I could almost imagine a voice confessing this:

    'My hands landed
    upon silhouettes
    of her disguise. '

    It was phonetic, and it worked, and I think you made every right choice in order to write this. I liked the echo of the title. Excellent, I'm glad I read this. I have no further suggestions on how to improve.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sora

    You have a wonderful talent. this poem blew me away. very deep and poetic. i loved the ending the most. it made me feel like i wanted to keep reading but your poem had ended. all in all keep writing. you'll go far. 5/5.

    -Ashlei.

  • 15 years ago

    by Deana

    A very interesting idea, you handled it very well. A very intriguing write, mysterious and dark. outstanding!

  • 15 years ago

    by Atomic

    I read this in the thread in our group and absolutely loved it!

    I don't usually read poems with this format, but I'm glad I did.

    And I agree with The Tasteless about the title, but at the same time I also like yours as is.

    Great job.