Comments : Push that button if you need anything.

  • 15 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    "Push that button, if you need anything.
    Anything at all." she smiles and leaves.
    I'm laying in bed, sending her with my eyes.
    Did she really mean that? Anything?

    ^hehe i like the "Anything?" part lol. nice opening.

    "Is something wrong?" she's here again.
    Of course there is, i pushed the button, didn't I?
    "My pillow's too soft and my mouth is dry.
    Could you pick that up?" I dropped my pen.

    ^hehe it made me laugh a bit. i imagine she would do sumthing like that. but she did say Anything.

    "You rang." she's not smiling anymore.
    "Could you open a window and let in some air,
    maybe dry my eyes and kill my despair?
    Could you fix my heart, it's just so sore?"

    ^awww... i realie didnt see that coming. i realie like it.

    "I'm not a God, I'm only a nurse!
    I give you some pills that put you to sleep."
    After taking them i sink into nightmares so deep.
    And i can't wake up, those pills are like curse.

    ^ I liked it. wnt change a thing here.

    I'm there again, in the middle of the sea,
    screaming your name, trying to find you...
    I see your head, then it's lost in the blue...
    I finally open my eyes and can't breathe.

    ^omg i had a nitemare like this too. i woke up cring n shaking. wow this is my favorite part of ur piece here.

    My hand reaches to the button, but...
    what are you doing, silly girl, they don't fix shattered hearts and broken dreams in hospitals....
    ^ awww.. so sad indeed. i LOVE how you ended it tho. i realie like. keep it up indeed. amazing job.
    5/5

    TaKe CaRe,
    Frenchy

  • 15 years ago

    by The Queen

    This poem has its own originality and very creatively down...the title was very captivating too...Very brialliantly done..good job..