This is going to be really crap feedback, and for that, I apologise. I liked your rhymes. I thought they were good. They're what I enjoyed most about this piece. However, I must say, I didn't really enjoy the piece, as a whole, and I can't figure out why. I think it just didn't flow as nicely as it could, which is weird, since, as I said, you had great rhyming. I think, (and I'm sorry for saying this) that it just seemed rather dull. It didn't really grab me.

Brad

P.S. Sorry for the negative comments. Believe me, I don't enjoy saying such things.

This was well written. The rhythm is perfect and each line transitions without flaw. My favorite line has to be:

"I stumble into the fragments of my fear"

Just because of how well it describes an image while simultaneously giving the reader loads of emotion. Also I enjoyed the small dose of alliteration. Great write.

Shattered glass breaks through the ground
Confining the flames of a desperate desire
The grieving chaos is devouring every sound
Echoes are slowly silenced in the ending fire

-->Your descriptions are vivid and clear, i can't picture it as I read. You give so much detail, in so little lines.

Pieces of reality begin to fall off my mind
My numb body threatens to turn into ashes
Many sparkles of hope... Yet I feel so blind...
The whole, eternal universe suddenly crashes

-->Your writing is so relatable. This second stanza seems a bit forced, but still greatt [better than anything I could everr write]

How did I get lost in this nightmare?
I stumble into the fragments of my fear
A suffering darkness, I can only compare
To the cries I heard in my head, too clear...

-->I love this stanza. Your poem just flows, with the rhyme, rhythm, and just with itself.

I feel like I am awaking from this night
A soft breeze begins to embrace my soul
I open my eyes and I can sense the light
I don't know how... But I regained control...

-->I like the transition of this stanza, from darkness to a dimming light.

You are carefully breathing into my life
My heart begins to beat again, for you
My soul heals... The world has no more strife...
Because the story of the guardian angel is true

-->This last stanza was my favorite. I absolutely loved the last line.

Another great write. Another 5/5 :]

Hey,
when I read the title, I was curious..from what did you need to be saved? It's better then I expected. The first stanza is great, I love the words you used. The line I liked the most is, Many sparkles of hope... Yet I feel so blind... Thats just perfect! There is just one little thing I didn't really like and thats the last sentence.. maybe its just me, but I don't really think that it fits the rest of the poem. Nevertheless, I gave you 5/5. Nice work
greets Stephanie