The Sweet Smell of Oranges

I apologise, I just understood the 'orange scent' motif. My mistake.

Suppose your title drew me in really, I was confused how such a nice title would be in the sad poems section!

'The sweet smell of oranges lingers in the air,
Overpowered by a dark disgusting stench.'

The contrast here was strong, almost too strong, it's like you change the imagery in two lines.

'She's got a heart of gold, willing to help anybody,
Overpowered by a man that resembles the Grinch.'

Repetition works here, I see where you went with this. Sorry but reference to the grinch was almost humourous, was it intentional?

'They give him everything, give him their whole life.
Give him their soul, all for just a few pennies and dimes.'

I liked how you showed the lack of care in the male character. Like our souls are worth just pennies in his reality. He gives nothing when you give your all.

'He makes you feel worth it, then he shoots you down.
Only after he leaves you hang there for so long.'

There were too many 'he's' in this stanza but the last two I copied and pasted there were two particularly good lines because the image you put in my head was visually dark and quite saddening. The word 'hang' made that possible.

I don't think the fourth stanza adds anything, I mean, you could make it worth while by not repeating the fact that he 'shoots people down'. You also repeat it in the fifth stanza. It really doesn't do you any favours.

Although I like what you're putting across here, I don't get the significance of the oranges, are they an unexplained metaphor? I see where you're going with this but don't let linguistic mistakes stop you in your tracks.

Good work, either way. :]

Well first and foremost i woul like to say that the title kindda draws me into reading the poem.. though the poem was about a girl being used and how the player used and lure the girls into falling head over heels with him, i interprete in my own way that the orange sent was the perfume that he uses to charm the girls he lure...and that scent still remains in the air...Well i did enjoy the poem. Keep it up

Excellent Job
5/5

This was a very sad and somewhat disturbing poem for some reason. Yes there are blokes out there that will do what you said, but i sure hope that girls or women that fall out with someone like this, realise their self worth. A guy like this is not worth a thought after he has done something like this.
Your poem was well written and a pleasure to read

Grant