My dear Ozzie girl,

You really lived up to LJ's challenge..what a poem!
It was so sweet and tender, you had me mesmerized with you words...and then that ENDING, so very sad! It was hard not to break into tears, sweetheart:(
I hope this was just a story, I don't want you to have that kind of pain* huggles you*

Beautiful Cara, outstanding piece of poetry!

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

LJ should watch out, you might just overtake him as king of love poems. (smile) The first three verses draw the reader in and the great love can be felt and almost touched, then the last verse punches you in the gut. It is a horrendous feeling when the one you love dies and your heart and soul feel as if it is being torn from your chest and you don't think you will survive the pain. It never really goes away and it is so hard to accept they are gone and memories are all that is left. Excellent job on this. 5/5

Awwww. This is realy one of your best poems. I love the wording and the rhyming. Greatly written and just soo sweet. Wonderful Work
5/5

From the moment I read the 1st phrase, it just pulls me right through the scenery which you have created. Time just slowly passed for me as i read on as you have painted a love story with a feeling of serenity.Again another unexpected twist from you at the end(lol u seems to be the queen of twist nowadays).This poem is just sweet, sad and beautiful...Keep it up

Excellent job mate
5/5

Wow, Cara this is really one of the best you have ever written. I am sure you you impressed LJ with his challenge. The way you described this feeling of love and being complete from beginning to end really impressed me. I knew you were a great poet but this is level above all the other poems you have written. I loved the ending too, I did not expect your lover to die. That made it even stronger because it led up to a perfect line to end it. Great Job. 5.5

I like your word choice in this piece although I would suggest removing some of the filler words. Nice job.

A peaceful stroll along the beach, feet sinking in the sand
The waves meet the shoreline, as we cruise hand in hand
The sun sets behind the clouds, making for a perfect scene
The image in our background adds to our lovers pristine
^^^
I love the beauty of this opening stanza. It holds warmth and romance and just gives the reader a wonderfull feeling.
I would suggest removing "the" in lines 2, 3 and 4 ...

A peaceful stroll along the beach, feet sinking in the sand
Waves meet the shoreline, as we cruise hand in hand
Sun sets behind the clouds, making for a perfect scene
Image in our background adds to our lovers pristine
^^^
It reads more smoothly I find.

Time loses its meaning, as the minutes transform to hours
Your glance makes my heart fluctuate, no love is like ours
The sky completely darkens, but afraid I needn't be
As I couldn't feel more safer, being my love's abductee

^^^
Another wonderful stanza ... my only suggestion would be to change the word "safer" .. it just throws off the poem I find. And makes it read awkward.
Perhaps :
As I couldn't feel more secure, being my love's abductee

Whispers of forever, promised with a passionate embrace
Your rough skin caresses mine as our fingers interlace
My eyes meet yours and it's as though my puzzle is complete
All the pieces click together, with you finishing my heart's beat
^^^^
Beautiful stanza. I love the puzzle part and the pieces clicking together. Gives a beautiful image !!!!

This memory will always remain, but my mind is done pretending
The flat green line on the screen is telling me your road is ending
A single tear escapes my eyes, landing on your now cold skin
Your hand that I hold is limp and I silently break within.
^^^
Excellent ending !!!!
I feel there could of been another stanza before this one, it just seems to end BAM ...
or perhaps it is that I loved it so much I wnted there to be more ... lol

I really enjoyed this piece ... it flowed nicely, wonderful imagery and some brilliant lines.

I think by removing the 3 lines with "the" in the begining would make this wonderful front page material ...
And I would love to see it there, so therefor it has my nomination.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful read
Luanne

Sorry it won't let me vote until tomorrow, it seems I used up my 3 votes. But it has my vote next week.

Keep up the great writing. I am looking forward to reading more
Luanne

Good one... romantic and very touchy.

It's a beautiful piece of poetry. when it ended i was like, aww, its over. it was excellent definitely going to read more of your pieces.

I absolutely enjoyed this one
the flow was so smooth i wished it didn't end so soon :) though the ending was so sad and sudden but it didn't take away anything from the passion flowing through your words .
i hope you won that challenge ;)

Wow, Cara, this is so heartfelt. Filled with emotion from deep within. I loved this poem, it is going in my favorites, you summed up love so wonderfully in words without being cliche. Sigh, my oh my, what a wonderful write my dear, you are very talented keep up the excellent work.

Peace, Joe

An outstanding piece of poetry... that completely drew me in! Wonderfully penned, with an unexpected ending! LOL
Very well done.

Heartbreakingly beautiful Cara...

the last like is wonderful!