Comments : Yesterday's Shadow

  • 15 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Nicely done Luanne! Flow and rhyming spot on!

    "O' heart that spirals endlessly
    upon promised wings, broken
    emotional tide, rise and fall
    truth buried in words unspoken"

    ^ I really like these lines....

    ....love the wings metaphor!...and the way you end line two with the word broken...actually breaks the flow of the poem in just the right way...

    I can see the promise of tomorrow and the hope for a new start in these words.....how important truth and honesty are in life and love...

    Take care, Debbie

  • 15 years ago

    by Deana

    This is truly a beautiful write Luanne, It is like a refreshing new start, from a sad past. An excellent write and the rhyming is perfect!

  • 15 years ago

    by Twisted Heart

    "O' heart that spirals endlessly
    upon promised wings, broken
    emotional tide, rise and fall
    truth buried in words unspoken"

    Love these lines. Rhythmn and flow was great. Also loved your word choices. I think I liked the words "O' heart" the best, they really grabbed my attention.

    Well done my dear Niece. Well done.

    Always,
    Jeannie

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I like this piece a lot, it has serene flow and it's contains such captivating elegance in every stanza. Your choice of words is great, and I like the topic that you picked, I think that you delivered the message of the poem in a really good way.

    - O' heart that spirals endlessly
    upon promised wings, broken
    emotional tide, rise and fall
    truth buried in words unspoken-
    ^^^
    My favorite stanza. This is absolutely amazing opening, flawless and wonderfully written. It immediately caught my attention and made me want to read more.

    The rhymes throughout the poem, although not so original, created fantastic flow.

    - a path of genuine colors
    that links your heart, to mine -
    ^^^
    Beautiful lines.

    Overall, this is enjoyable read.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Impressive write, yet again. Some things were worded flawlessly..

    "truth buried in words unspoken-"
    `The usage of the word buried was amazing..

    Your first stanza really pulled me in and then I couldnt stop.. a magnificent job at the flow and rhyme scheme.

    Well done.

    5/5.