Lovers Mirage

Well this was certainly an interesting write... I like how you craft this poem ... I can visualize the pain taht you're goin through ahving to go on your life without the one you love...knife which was once ur best friend has now come back into your possession ready to replay what has been done before juz to see your love once again

Excellent job
5/5

I was actually more impressed by this than I'd thought.

Dehydrated was a nice choice, the use of the desert also brought that image out there too. The rhyme didn't seem forced at all.

'Music has no melody
Colors have no hue'

I liked that bit. The joys in life are black and white when you're not with your loved one.

'But as I sit here in this prison
My ex-best friend the knife
Slips into my hand once more
Reminding me of my past life'

This stanza was weak compared to the rest, it was a bit cliche, which was a shame.

The last stanza was great, tied it all up well. I liked the use of the title here. Good work bro..

I originally opened this poem, because the title itself was just simply captivating.
as i read, i needed to keep going,
just like the person in this poem, needs the love they have lost.

here are the parts that spoke loudest to me.

Dehydrated from your love
^
i love this metaphor.

Music has no melody
Colors have no hue
Life to me seems so meaningless
If I'm spending it without you
^
this whole stanza .. couldnt be put more beautifully.

So it seems the army of suicidal thoughts
Have laid down their barrage
I lay here in shock without your love
Suffering from my lovers mirage
^
an amazing ending for such a beautiful poem.

nicely written.
-rebecca