Comments : What Happens in the Past...

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Our hearts protect these with tender arms,
    so we can look back upon them as lessons,
    as guidelines for the unpredictable future ahead.

    ^^Indeed Temps, we can learn from the past and be sure never to make the same mistake again.

    You have a very gentle nature and it shows in all your work. I am glad we met:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by The Prince

    Good to see something new from you!

    'What happens in the past, cannot be erased,
    by using any valid method, failure will result.'

    This was very philisophical, I don't know why but I'd have loved some assonance here. Some internal rhyme, just to give it that extra kick.

    'No matter how hard one tries, it's impossible,
    for memories captured are irreplaceable in life.'

    I like the wording here, you kept that sound and tone you had in the first couplet. Good stanza, quite a bit of wisdom embedded in here.

    'Deeply engraved beyond distinct moments,
    lies a wide essortment of feelings encountered...
    through every definite detail of thoughts in time.'

    *assortment* :), I loved the words you used here, I didn't expect something like this from you. I don't like to gush on comments but I really enjoy this, not much to critically comment on. The past is a reminder of all we cannot change!

    'Our hearts protect these with tender arms,
    so we can look back upon them as lessons,
    as guidelines for the unpredictable future ahead.'

    The use of the article 'the' gives it a 'definite' quality and a good finish. This poem reads very well. I might have liked it if there was some internal rhyme, but it's still a very good piece of work. I enjoyed this...:)