A Discontented Heart

I love the begining of the peom. It's a grat way to start it. It's very unique. And you had me hooked from the first 2 lines. I love the ending as well. And the inagery is perfect. The emotion is definitely there.I love the wroding of the poem. You have a grat vocabulary. The only thing I didn't like is the fact that I didn't really undertand it as wellas I wanted to. I had to read it about 2-3 times before I could really understandthe poem. But it's still an excellent poem.

Soda E>

Another amazing poem. You really have your way with words! I especially love this part:
"Afflicted from her past relationships, with the liars and the cheats
How could she learn to trust again..."
It was alomst like the poem is about me and I could feel every single feeling that you are writing about!

Wounded from the past; now scared of letting go
A broken heart and ash burnt pictures, still won't help her grow
Blocked out memories; repressed hostility; subdued desires
Struggling to prevail, though hidden, through her walls of fire

^the three stanzal were just incrediable. the words you choose wwent great there. very touching and deep indeed.

Masqueraded imperfections; jaded with a broken heart
Seemingly sincere, and suppression through her work of art
Afraid to open up, to allow herself these blissful moments
Camouflaged behind a smile; shadowing her torments

^afriad to let anyone in anymore? in time sumone would slowlie get inside ur heart n you wouldnt have seen it coming. cuz i can relate to this part as many can afriad to let anyone in cuz of afriad of getting hurt.

Afflicted from her past relationships, with the liars and the cheats
How could she learn to trust again, always feeling incomplete?
How can she give away her heart, when the pieces are astray?
Who would want a tattered, torn up love; to love for everyday?

^nice way of ending your poem here. i love poems with question cuz it makes me thing for an answer n stuff. i love it. amazing job once again. =]
5/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

I think the title fits well.
I'm a punctuation nut, and the only punctuation I saw was question marks and semi colans. If you added some periods and commas it would flow better for me. The never ending sentences just kinds ruined it for me.
Also, it felt like there was a rhyme scheme, but it got lost in some parts of the poem.
Other than that, I did enjoy it.

Loved this part .

Masqueraded imperfections; jaded with a broken heart
Seemingly sincere, and suppression through her work of art
Afraid to open up, to allow herself these blissful moments
Camouflaged behind a smile; shadowing her torments

the first line is like * boom *
5.5 i'm really looking forward to reading more from you.

thanks for taking time to read my poem!