Sometimes you just have to be
ready to let go and be OK with it.
I guess I'm not ready to do either.
I miss hearing her voice over the phone,
or the way her tiny hand held tightly to mine
as we crossed the street. I miss the way she
would always run up to me and wrap her arms
around my neck, hugging and squeezing so tight
I thought I'd stop breathing. I miss her smile.
It feels like she's gone forever...and it hurts
to think that way. I kills to think of the happy
times when I didn't have to worry if she was
alright, because I knew she was safe as
long as I was taking care of her.
Now I don't know.
This is the first time I've talked about it.
Talking about it makes it real, and if I don't..
then she's still here and I don't have to cry
myself to sleep every night. I don't have to
blame myself. I can stay strong for everyone else.
I can live through the day pretending and keeping them
sane enough to live and I can face the horrors as I
fall to sleep at night with a tear stained pillow. I don't have to miss her when I pretend and I don't have to pretend that I'm OK when I'm alone at night.
The truth is,
I haven't been OK.
At all.
**{I don't know if I consider this a poem or not. I wrote it because..well I just had to let out all my feelings on a certain situation. I hope you like it none-the-less.}**
