Ingrid, it was fun to do this. It is only the second collab I have ever done and was easier than I thought. (smiles) Maybe we can do another sometime.

This write was so creative, it was a delight to read. Im glad the goblin figured out that happines comes from within, in the end.
There are great messages scattered throughout the whole poem and although the piece was about a fantasy world, i think it translates nicely into the world we live in today.
A wonderful collab, from two fantastic writers. It flowed nicely together and i was unable to tell who wrote which stanzas or parts.
I really enjoyed this.
5/5

Ohh Ingrid, Sylvia the both of you have really done a wonderful job. I like that this poem written this in a medieval/ fantasy time. Though it was written for little kids... I see that, there was also a hidden meaning behind this poem. Life is a journey where we make mistakes , learn from it and realise that sometimes what we believe is not what it seems to be.

Overall the both of you have done an excellent job, i seriously couldn't tell which lines or verse was whose.

5/5 from me;)

You two did a flawless job, you see.. its rare to come across a children's poem on this site, you never see them so its nice to see something new for a change. I loved the message in this poem, and you clearly stated it towards the end.. the ending line was powerful and spoke of truth. The ending quote really said it all, this little short story flowed so smooth and it was such an enjoyable read.. I'm glad I read it.. :]

5/5.

This is an excellent piece of work you two have composed…one good thing about child’s stories they all seem to have a message that we all could learn from….so keep on writing….thank you for sharing it with us.

Sadaddy

'Once upon a time, in a country far, far away,
lived folks so gentle, unicorns, elves, goblins, dragons,
residing peacefully, in a land of magical harmony,
sheltered from the weather in brightly painted wagons.'

I liked the familiarity and echo of the beginning, it's reminiscent of children's stories I used to read with brightly painted pictures but I didn't need the pictures here because you both painted them for me. :) It's not too childish either, it has it's adult moments too, it's good because I think it appeals to both.

'In this world of magic, all creatures had their place.
A maze, filled with activity throughout the day.
From early dawn, when they gathered their food,
til sundown around the fire, dancing the night away.'

This sounds like a magical place, the idea of escapism here, it's a place I think children would want to go to! I love the little phrases that always exist in children's poetry. It's lovely.

'How could one wish to leave such a place, you'd say.
Still one little green goblin decided it was for the best,
if he gathered his pitiful belongings and went away.
So early one morning he and his wagon headed west.'

I liked how you brought a character into it, it makes it more interesting for the reader and there's not much to comment on the language, it's pretty much consistent throughout. 'Pitiful belongings' was quite powerful.

'
Westward to the land of opportunity, so he thought.
Things will be better there, no more ridicule for being green.
Being different than all the others left behind, felt so out of place.
His hopes were high, he would fit in, no one would be mean.'

I think that children who are picked on at school can relate to this, being different is every child's worst nightmare and this is shown here, it's almost a metaphor for child life.

I might have liked a bit more from this, I mean, everything's there, but it felt a bit short in it's entirety, still I gotta hand it to you both. Excellent job.

I really enjoyed this poem. As it's a children's poem i might read it to my little brother and sister and hope that they can appreciate the moral of the story :)

I wished I could ve read this poem during my nursery days, I m sure I would ve recited enthusiastically to all my batchmates...

Honestly, children would definately love to read such fairytales and fables styled poems..

The best part I like about you is that you are a superhit and accessible among all the age groups... Thats why you are the most favorite poet on the site...

Handle this adoration with care.

When two wonderful and tallented mind combine, only a beauty such as this piece will unfold.What I like about this story, is that not only a child can learn something from it but adults also.You two have done an awesome job on this piece..Keep up the great work and hope to see many more colabs by you both in the future.
An enjoyable read.
Paul...

I read this to my little brother. He loves it.

A childrens poem with so much depth! I love it, 5/5.

-mandy :)

This is really good.
:)
5/5