Debbie
As always your talent shines bright. When we were on the phone you said it was a nonrhyming poem......it is still a beautiful piece.
Love Cindy

I like how you intertwined emotions with nature elements here, you created captivating atmosphere. Whole piece is vivid, and I could clearly imagine every stanza. Although sad in a way, this piece contains an amount of true beauty and elegance.

- How ironic the barren field in Winter
Prevailing winds scattering bluebirds-
^^
Powerful beginning for the poem, it made me feel the coldness of winter excellently portrayed in just two lines, which contrasted the next line where you mentioned summer atmosphere, and that made those two lines stand out even more.

- I dream of myriad adventures
You in the 4th of July corn, hide and seek
Hot, sunburned, no hint of blue tomorrow-
^^^
I love these lines, too, they're beautiful and descriptive, filled with inspirational positivity.
I like how you separated notions with commas instead of using fillers [hot AND sunburned, for example] which made the flow truly effective.

How ironic the barren field in Winter
Prevailing winds scattering bluebirds
Recall arm in arm contented June forays
Now discontent fills laconic voids
^^^
I get the feeling of sadness here. That winter may be like ... life at times ... feeling empty, alone.
To be swept away like the wind ... and searching for the beautiful days once had.

Field mouse scratches to find morsels
I dream of myriad adventures
You in the 4th of July corn, hide and seek
Hot, sunburned, no hint of blue tomorrow
^^^
Here seems to be one missing the good days, now stuck in hard times.

You have done a wonderful job with your words Deb. It is so hard to find the right place to make the words fit smoothly ... but you did a wonderful job.

Looking forward to seeing if I am interpreting this poem correctly.

Well done on the challenge Deb !!!

Vivid imagery in this piece. Excellent word choice. I love the feeling of reminiscing and refelcting on difficult times. Nice job!

Debby..
That was just amazing..I don't know how to criticize these poems, I guess there's nothing really to criticize =)

We all seek the sun come November
Dilapidated old barn outback, beckons
Remnants of Summer litter a corner
Sunhats, feathers, unbroken web

I really loved this stanza..we do seek the sun come when we are in severe pain.

I dream of myriad adventures
this line too I really loved
I don't know but I guess every part of the poem filled me with emotions, your prelude was very captivating.
I remember this in the challenge right?

Awesome job Debby =)
Write on

I love this poem. it shows real character, and understanding. its beauty is moving and its a powerful inspiration. absolutely, wonderful job Debby.