Comments : Realize and Remember.

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Tempsy:)

    How about "closure"as a title?
    Reading this I feel you are ready to move on and that you have found some kind of closure for yourself.
    To let go is so hard, I know my dear girl...but you have no choice.
    You still have this really beautiful friendship, not all people are able to stay friends after they end a relationship, so in a way you are lucky to still have that with your boyfriend:)
    Some day soon you will be writing us beautiful love poems again, I am very sure of that:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by Faithless

    Well by reading this i can sense that this poem is very personal to you. Venting out the feelings right from the bottom of your heart about the end of your relationship. Though both of you still remain good friends , i can sense that you still longs to be him. Some times in life, it doesn't always go the way how we wanted it to be, so we need to take the alternate road to help us move on

    I like structure of this poem, having to place a word then pour your what you feel about it. I think that is pretty unique and i must say that i can feel the emotions flowing through each and every stanza.

    Excellent Job
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by The Prince

    See, the problem with personal poems is that sometimes we sacrifice linguistics for emotion.

    I liked the subtitles you included at the start of each little stanza. The idea of a 'Fresh coat of tears' was a fantastic line, implying that you've replaced older tears with newer ones. It's quite a saddening and somewhat striking image. You don't need 'for there are none' in the second stanza as it reiterates what has previously been said.

    The last two stanzas were somewhat more optimistic, yet still carried a sad tone from the previous. Optimism is great to introduce to a sad poem as it makes the sadness more obvious.

    I think a good name for this poem would be 'Realize and Remember' because it practically sums up what's being said here.