Her Wrinkles

by Chelsey   Mar 10, 2009


Beautiful, she is
At the age of 85
She lays there in peace
She's no longer alive

I smile so big
Tears gracefully fall down
I'm picturing her in heaven
With her jewel filled crown

Pieces of her life
Are the wrinkles on her face
They show of every single time
That she kept her smile in place

That wrinkle by her eye
Holds the stress she felt
When her daddy passed away
And on his grave she knelt

The wrinkle on her cheek
Is from when her husband went to war
Always frantic he'd lose his life
And she'd see a policeman at her door

Down her neck they lay
When the world got her best
The times of her 6 miscarriages
She was overly oppressed

The day her only son almost died
Created the wrinkles on her chin
That was the day she gave herself to God
Promised she'd no longer sin

Beautiful she remains
With her wrinkles oh so old
My grandma, so amazing
Her heart still made of gold

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by ReBecca

    I got chills. Very beautiful. Flow and rhyming were perfect. Content was touching. I enjoyed reading this.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nee

    I loved the idea of the poem.
    At first I thought you'd be talking about the death of your grandma, but then again you had a good idea in mind.
    Thing is...your vocabulary went a bit cliche..you needed to strengthen it more, the wording could've been better than this.
    Same thing goes to your rhyme..your rhyming words had nothing new.
    Let me tell you something..try not to follow the same specific rhyming words..I mean you can say "heart" and "dark" and they would still rhyme..I know it would not be a full rhyme..but sometimes you need to use the half rhyme to make some difference in the piece.

    As for me, a reader..I wanted to see something new in the rhyme.
    But as for you, the writer..the half rhyme would make you feel that you're writing for the sake of expressing the inner you, not for just writing words for the poem.

    But again I love the concept of the piece =)
    Keep it up !

  • 15 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    While I like the basis of your write and the way you draw us in and tell us about her life, the flow needs a bit of work for me, it seems very stiff. Removing some of the filler would help, watch your syllable count.

    Overall it was a nice heartfelt write.