I don't see

by Ashley   Mar 10, 2009


I'm different but I see exactly the same
The colors are there the pictures in the frame
I see the trees so unreal fake
Along with the rivers and oceans and lakes
They all look fake nonexistant in my head
I still do not trust my eyes nor the things that are said
I see everything the same but what is different is me
I'm inside myself now dying turning into whatever I'll be
Less passionate less thoughtfull less than what I was
But I still can't see the realness the way everybody does
I will be like them soon but I hope I feel
That the ground beneath my feet the trees in the forest the love in my heart is real
In the same way that I used to beleive it is not
It was never created how we were taught
This is still not real the same way I used to see
But I think the only difference is what isn't real is me.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    The content of this piece was okay, and for the majority of the piece, so was the flow and the rhymes, but there were points where the structure was heavily broken, like towards the end where the a line was very short, and then the line after that was extremely long. And there were points where the rhymes were weak, if non-existent, like ‘was’ and ‘does’ or ‘not’ and ‘taught’. I think the content was by far the best aspect of this piece, with my favourite line being ‘The colors are there the pictures in the frame’. I’m not sure why, it just sounded nice.

    Brad

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