Fall Haiku

Hm. I was reading, and as I read, I counted the syllables, and they're off in this piece. A haiku should have 3 lines (yours does) but the first and last line should have 5 syllables each, and the second line should have 7 syllables.

"Red, orange, brown"

Red = 1, Or-ange = 2, Brown = 1 // Total: 4

"death is quietly surrounding"

Death = 1, Is = 1, Qui-et-ly = 3, Sur-round-ing = 3 // Total: 8

"erry silence, peace"

First: I'm not sure if by "erry" you meant "airy", because I don't think "erry" is a word, though I could be wrong. Anyway..

Er-ry = 2, Si-lence = 2, Peace = 1 // Total: 5

Let me see if I can help. :)

"Red, orange, brown" = [Red, orange, and brown] ; that's 5.

"death is quietly surrounding" = [death quietly surrounds me] ; that's 7.

"erry silence, peace" = this already has 5 syllables, so you're good here.

["Red, orange, and brown
death quietly surrounds me
erry silence, peace"]

Ta-da! :) I often find that when writing a formed poem that requires a certain number of syllables, I have to read over it and change things around numerous times to get them just right. The best way to get better at this, is to just try and try again.

Keep in mind that this comment is in no way meant to be harsh or rude, so please don't take it as such; I just enjoy helping if I feel I can. :)

`Briana