Satin Sheets to Lie On

First off, well done on winning my contest: it was the most polished, most original and said the most out of all the poems, and I loved the tone you kept throughout.

'Scent, Chanel No.5
faux perhaps, just like her Gucci'

Loved how 'faux' relates to the 'Chanel' in etymology (both words being French) it has the effect of creating a consistent sound and tone. You took a simple subject and made it yours.

'she is

Slippery as the sheets
she LIES on'

Love the enjambment there. And like everyone else has pointed out, the capital 'LIES' was particularly powerful, it'd be in italics if it was in a book. Caps lock always looks like you're just yelling something aha. 'Slippery sheets' was a great use of sibilance too.

Only problem I had is that the stanzas get somewhat weaker as it progresses - not to say that the end is weak; just if I compared the last to the first.

'Grace, Dignity, Love'

Liked the change in tone here, positive lexis personified by those capitalisations.

'engraved upon satin sheets
Reminder !
Statement !'

I don't think 'engraved' is the right word to use here. I get connotations of stone when I think of engraved. 'Etched' perhaps?
Loved those one line sentences. 'Statement !' was excellent and the last line left me wanting more.

Really, really enjoyed this.
Your other four promised comments will come gradually. Going to nominate this though, because it was excellent.

Well done!

I really loved this piece, it was really uniquely written, the style and the content of it.. it really blew me away.. what a powerful message as well, it was uniquely weaved into this poem. I liked also how some words were capitolized to emphasize, and to get your point across.

I enjoyed this, interesting write.

5/5.

Well...Luanne..that must be the most awfull discovery for anyone to make..to walk into your own bedroom and just know another woman was there. It doesn't really matter, you know, the how/what/why questions...the pain that comes from a humiliation like that never really goes away and leaves a breach in the absolute trust that was once there.

I agree with my friend Deana: an excelent and courageous write. (I hope it was fictional!)

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

Anyone who has been there...knows the pain this poem expresses. You will still remain supreme when she is just listed as one of life's dirty little MISTAKES! An excellent and courageous write my friend.

"Scent, Chanel No.5
faux perhaps, just like her Gucci
knock-off version of a lady
illusion Queen - she is"

^ This part is great...all about the deception...awesome comparison with the fake gucci!

"Slippery as the sheets
she LIES on
Reminder ?
A taunt ?
She was there, before me
today ..."

^ I like the LIES insertion...

"Grace, Dignity, Love
engraved upon satin sheets
Reminder !
Statement !
that I was there ...long before she"

^ great ending...so the lover's bedroom in this one was used by the cheat to bed his mistress and his wife? Interesting take on the subject...nice one Luanne!