Comments : Awake Again

  • 15 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Good imagery, rhyme, rhythm and flow. I do love the nature poems. Especially those that remind me of the coming spring. Nice job!

  • 15 years ago

    by Lu

    Deb you have penned a magical piece here. The imagery is magnificent.

    Icy winter slumber
    Sap still in my veins
    Waiting for a Springtime kiss
    To wake me up again
    ^^^
    Such a wonderful word picture. I can see little icicle droplets hanging to branches just waiting for Mother nature to sprinkle a little springtime on them

    Warmth from sun, gentle rain
    Soft lit starry nights
    Sweet birds in the morning
    Basking in the light
    ^^^^
    I was just telling Darryll yesterday. I love the first day you hear the little birds chirping outside your window. It is such a beautiful feeling. And even though you hear it every year ... every time feels like the first.

    Reaching up to heaven
    Brushed by gentle breeze
    Bowing to a thunderstorm
    Brought down to my knees
    ^^^
    Love the picture you painted here. I can actually see the branches stretching up tall, reaching for the sky and bending beneath the force of a thunderstorm.
    Great imagery !!!!

    I loved this poem from beginning to end. It holds so much beauty. I look forward to these magical days when everything comes back to life. And hopefully it will come soon here.

    Great read Deb and an excellent write !

  • 15 years ago

    by Cindy

    Debbie
    I love the way you wrote as the tree. This turned out really great.

    Icy winter slumber
    Sap still in my veins
    Waiting for a Springtime kiss
    To wake me up again

    so much imagery..waiting for the kiss of spring.to wake the sleeping leaves. I loved these lines.

    Warmth from sun, gentle rain
    Soft lit starry nights
    Sweet birds in the morning
    Basking in the light

    Very vivid picture for the readers mind.

    Reaching up to heaven
    Brushed by gentle breeze
    Bowing to a thunderstorm
    Brought down to my knees

    Part of this stanza reminds me of a poem Johnny wrote. I love the way you have the branches reaching to Heaven.

    Welcome Spring! I live again!
    Arms are open wide
    Warmed by sun, I've just become
    Awake again inside

    Great end Deb. Your talent shines once again.
    Love you
    Cindy

  • 15 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Actually the changes suggested in the above post would throw off the rhythm and flow of the piece and is only suggesting that you add unnecessary filler words. I think it is great just the way it is. Of course, I am sure you know that already.

  • 15 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Missed your poems.
    This one is really very refreshing.I love nature poems and find it the toughest ones but then you know how make it so simple deep and beautiful.

    Great write

    all the best and take care