My comfort My pain

So once again,
Ive turned back
To my comfort
My pain.

When we spoke
The other yesterday
I knew there was a
Chance for us again.

But now after
Tonight I dont
Think thats true
Anymore aye.

What happened that fatal
Day comes back
Into play.

In the end you have
To take responsibility
As well. I may have
Upset you, but you
Helped to cause
That falls.

My family believes
That when you hurt
One of us, they must
Be cut out.
Half the time

They dont care what
We did, just what the
The other person has done
To cause this.

So no matter what I say
To them I cant change their
Minds try as I might, and believe
Me I have tried.

So again I spill
Redness, not just
For you and me,
But for my brother
As well.

Me and my brother
Fought we never fight.
I actually took a swing
At him an him at me.
All because of that day.

So again Ive turned
To my comfort and
My ride.

You asked me to give
Up that ride and use
The money, what for
You wont tell me.
Not just yet anyway.

I do have some ideas
As to what that is.
But after today I dont
Know if that will happen.

I only have one question
For you, and I think I
Deserve an answer, the
Answer you give may
Affect what it is you want.

So again with no ride
Tonight ill turn to my
Comfort and ill bleed
Again.

But ill find comfort and
Spill in a place no one
Will see.
For this way I hurt no-one
But myself, if Im lucky.

And so yet again as I find
Comfort I wish it all to end.
Can the good Ive done
Outweigh the bad Ive done?

So ill use my comfort to
Try and seek answers but i
Never find them, I only
Seem to lose them.

The Yardbirds state what I
Would do for your love.

Its all true, I would
Give the stars if they were
Mine to give, for your love

What am I to do?
I cant please everybody,
But for once I will get
What I truly want.

But what is it that I
Truly want?