The knife

I am so alone
just sitting by myself
i try to hold on
but i know there is no help

i try to think positive
pretend i am worth things
but I'm not worth anything
not even the sadness that i bring

i try to look people in the eye
and convince them everything is OK
but then i realize
that there is nothing i can say

i am not worth anything
not worth tears
i am a just a waste
a waste of useless years

i see nothing when i look
there is nothing when i feel
i am not living
I'm just not real

i have no life
i have no friends
that is why i grab the knife
and put it all to an end

i cut deeper
and blood comes out
i wish i could scream
i wish i could shout

there's marks on my arms
some on my legs
but where is hurts most
is in my heart and brain

it used to be OK
until i met you
then you hurt me
so i decided to do it too

i hurt my body
i tortured my mind
I've never felt like this
people have always been so kind

i lost it all
and turned into someone i never would have guessed
and it all happened
because all my blood left

i felt the pain
and saw the red
then all these thoughts
drifted through my head

thoughts of family
thoughts of my life
looked at my hand
then at the knife

i tried to put it down
and tried to make it all stop
but nothing worked
my heart was a rock

i didn't care
but then i met him
and i stopped doing
that horrible sin

then he broke my heart
and i cried all night
tried to hide my feelings
so i once again grabbed the knife

then one day i came home
everyone was asleep
so i got the best one i could find
and put it where no one could see

every time
that i want to cry
i cut myself
and then i lie

but at least i have something to depend on
it will always be there
i grab it
and then i tear