The knife has become my best friend

My life has been forgotten,
thrown down a hole,
where has it gone,
no one knows.

given away,
a joke to be,
why am i alone,
why can no one see?

everyone purposely tries to hurt me,
that is what it seems,
i am by myself,
it is just me.

I've got no one to lean on,
no one to understand,
no one to care,
so i hurt myself as much as i can.

i cant be alone,
or trusted with my life,
i do things to hurt myself,
i cant be around a knife.

i want to do things,
I've never thought about before,
I'm not normal,
not anymore.

i used to like myself,
i used to have respect,
but as each day passes,
i like myself less and less.

i look into the mirror,
with tears filling my eyes,
i grab the knife,
although i know it is not wise.

i don't know why i do it,
i don't know how it works,
but when the blood comes out,
the sadness no longer lurks.

my legs are torn,
just like my arms,
i don't know why,
i want to cause myself harm.

what is wrong with me,
i used to be OK,
now,
it's all i talk about-its all i say.

each scar comes with a story,
a memory to last,
although it is not happy,
it is a bad memory from the past.

i do it when I'm bored,
or when i feel alone,
it scares me,
i even do it on the phone.

i talk about how it's dumb,
to my friends that don't understand,
they don't know that i do it,
as i clutch the knife in my hand.

i just cut deeper,
because i feel worse,
why do i feel this way,
why do i have to live with this curse.

it pains me to think about it,
so i just push it to the side,
i wear long-sleeved shirts,
so the scars i can hide.

i don't wear shorts,
not anymore,
it's hard for me to write,
because my hands are so sore.

maybe if people could see,
the tears that i hold in,
maybe if i had someone to talk to,
i wouldn't do this sin.

but there's no one,
who can put this to an end,
thats why,
the knife has become my best friend.