City of Delusion

"Coat me with your lies,
Feeding words into my soul,
But listen clearly as I say:
The truth does not grow old.
[your city of delusion
will not beat me
my heart and my own eyes
are what i use to see]"

You really have a way with words..this is incredible. The depth and meaning here seeps through every word right from the beginning of the piece and pulls me right in.

"Rest your arms, empty your mind;
A need for belief, so very unkind.
Our rights: pushed into the ground;
Slapped for making a thread of sound.
[your city of delusion
will not beat me
my heart and my own eyes
are what i use to see]"

^^ You manage to hold the power of the opening in this verse, something I wasn't sure you'd be able to do. I enjoyed the repetition here, it got your point across well without becoming overkill and destroying the entire piece.

I adore this..in my favourites.

This poem has the rhythem of a song. I'd love to here the melody that goes with it. I noticed that this poem was short and simple (to the point). This made me happy, because not all poems need to be imbelished w/ adj.

Any way great poem and thank you for the read.

Really interesting title. It captured my attention and had me wanting to read more.

"your city of delusion
will not beat me
my heart and my own eyes
are what i use to see"
^It's "used" not "use"

This all flowed so nicely throughout the whole piece. Your use of rhyme was effective and the choice of words were different from the norm which was refreshing to see something new. I could tell this has a deeper meaning then what is presented on the surface and each time I read it, I took something different back from it. I liked the repitition of the stanza in [ ] because it enforced your message a second time in case the reader didnt comprehend it before.

Overall it was a great ride and I really enjoyed reading it.
Well done.

*5/5*
:]

I like tht u didnt use capital letters. after i read the smaller npte at the end i reread you poem. it is written amazingly. u describe society very well and its true. the delusions can be seen right thru. ther tanslucent. and then i thougth again. u should have made the letters capital because you should be making your own voice. rebell. be bigger then them. still very good.